Wednesday, August 19, 2015


It does not matter how cool you think you are, you are not. Do not tell young women stupid stuff. Just keep your mouth shut unless your parents taught you how to be polite. It's really simple. If you tell young women, they would look cuter if they smiled, you might get this.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

What I Believe In

The other day, someone again, asked me, a buyer and seller of what might be described as "collectible," or "rare," items what I personally collect. I have to say that the things that I collect number 2 and one of them I will be keeping to myself, thank you. I will reveal that my only public collectible is book markers. Not just regular book markers but book markers that have been left behind in old books. You would be surprised what you can find inside an old book and a marker is one of the first, and sometimes only, things that you find.

But I make sure I pay for the marker, even though the store owner, not knowing of the markers existence, often offers it for free, I always pay 1 dollar. I write down the book I found it in and the page, and other particulars both important and not. Why is this my collection? I don't know. Maybe the thought of all those people, reading all those words, and then caring enough about those words that they marked their place, so they could return to those words, makes me have hope as a writer that I will one day make someone feel the same way with words I have written.

But the unsaid question, that hangs in the air after the collection question, is what do you believe in Steve? Again, I have been hampered by an education which is elevated in some areas and in deficit in others. Everything I know and have learned has come from books, movies, or music. It's all I know.

So I will let Crash Davis, played by Kevin Costner in the movie "Bull Durham," provide my answer, as he has in the past. Crash Davis said:

"Well I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there should be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

Just in case you were wondering.

Santa Paula California City Directory, 1959

Thursday, August 13, 2015

The Voice of a Friend

I heard the voice of a friend the other day. One of the few people who met my late wife Ruth, and saw the wonderfulness of her, even if it was for only a short time. They told me that had suffered through cancer also and had beaten back the terrible disease. I was so happy to hear my friends voice that I forgot to shut up and just jabbered and jabbered.

So I am sending this one out to you my friend. I wish you health, life, and money, and the time to enjoy them all. 

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

What Lloyd Dobler Said

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything, as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or process anything sold, bought or processed."

Photo Courtesy of Bing Wallpaper

Friday, August 7, 2015

"In The Police Court" 6-18-1902, San Francisco Bulletin

"In the Police Court," was conceived of and executed by Thomas A. Dorgan, or as he is better known to the cartooning and boxing world, "TAD." At this time one of Tad's favorite hobbies was to go down to the local San Francisco Police Court and watch what we would now call "criminal arraignments," and then sketch and report on the defendants. Most of his drawings of the defendants were racist, stereotypical, and funny as hell. TAD definitely had an eye for the absurd in both his observations, and drawings.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Everybody Talks

I wear a lot of shirts with the name of my company NoMessageHere!!! and I can see people's faces as they try and figure out what it says before I scurry by them. The other day my 9 year old niece finally figured it out and she told me: 

"Your shirt says No Message Here."

I said she was absolutely correct and then went right back to what I was doing. She sat there for a few moments and then she said what a lot of folks have thought but never mentioned in the 10 years or so that I have been wearing the shirts. She scrunched up her beautiful little face and she asked in a child's quiet squeaky voice:

"Isn't that a message?"

I told her that indeed it was and that next year I was going to run for the "King of Irony." She decided that it was best if she let it drop there and I got her a peanut butter cookie and milk. I don't know why but a peanut butter cookie and milk makes a lot of stuff right again, and that's enough message for me.

A picture

Pear Lake, Sequoia National Park, California

Photo Courtesy of Bing Wallpaper