Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Changing the Messsage

When I started this blog over 5 years ago I guess it was because I was tired. I was tired of looking at the words, deeds, and outcomes of others, when what I was seeking was change. The worst sort of change really but it's the one we engage in the most, unfortunately.

I wanted everyone to see things the way that I saw them.

You can see something perfect, and yet, as human beings we think we can improve upon perfection, if only someone would listen to our idea. Everyone is the smartest person in the room when there is no one else there with you. You just know you are right.

I got lucky and found a woman who showed me that life was a compromise, a dichotomy, a place to choose your battles, and fight them wisely; with care, love, and understanding. I was with that woman for 23 years before she died almost 2 years ago now.

I learned I was a link, a valuable link, but a link none the less. The chain is all of us together and apart. We are all chained together by belief and hope. So how stupid am I for wanting the thing that kings, politicians, media outlets, and your best friend, also want; to be heard, believed, and considered, if even only for a moment?

I was on Facebook for 93 days this year, and everyone I knew, got to know, or wanted to know, well, I wanted them to see what I had to say and then understand what I was saying and make a change in their lives. I also saw friends and family that I loved, and I wanted them all to see me and then change.

What a fool, I continue to be.

Nothing changes except yourself.

So since those 93 days, I decided to change myself, again, and it worked. Life is so wonderful because it allows you to reinvent yourself over and over again. I am no longer filled with sorrow every minute of every day, bereft of a wife and seeing no future. I realized that liking something or posting something else was never going to get me where I needed to go, so I left, and went back to the real world.

It's a world where I accept people as they are. A world where my heart is open, and filled with laughter, a world where I can change this whole world, in a very real way. I am there now and it is wonderful. I love all my friends and family, I left behind on Facebook, but they all know they are in my heart every day, and they also knew, my real friends anyway, that I was going to be leaving soon. The road always is calling me.

I am needed in the real world so badly, that it is difficult to maintain this technology driven world but I will try. Just know that if you come to my web page you are going to be amazed at the giant mass of insanity there, and you can get to all of my blog pages from there, if they matter to you.

But really, if it does not matter to you, that's OK too. We all have the two lives that we manage everyday and sometimes that leaves no time to think about anything. But I know my two lives, the one I was given, and the other that I made for myself, are all I need, and even if no one reads these words, I will still keep writing them because it's all I can do to try and change myself, and possibly change you too.